<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The Experience of Viewing Self in the Mirror for Terminally Ill Women<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u201cLet us tell them \u2013 maybe then the staff would come to a greater understanding of how we are feeling, of what\u2019s important to us.\u00a0 <\/span>You really have to understand to help people.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>A Terminally Ill Woman<\/p>\n \u00a0Experiences are everyday lived moments.\u00a0 <\/span>The experience of pain, of lying in a hospital bed, of being misunderstood, being incontinent and having one\u2019s diaper changed, of dying, being fed because you cannot hold a spoon, being on a ventilator, of the moments before going into surgery \u2013 these are everyday lived experiences.\u00a0 <\/span>Understanding the meanings individuals give to their experiences is an essential component in preserving and enhancing quality of life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0In order to shed greater understandings on this concept, allow me to share one simple experience \u2013 the experience of seven terminally ill women viewing self in the mirror.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>In the 1960\u2019s my great \u2013 grandmother asked for and looked into her hand held mirror from her hospital bed for several moments, just hours before slipping into a final coma.<\/p>\n \u00a0In the 1970\u2019s, a small fragile woman in her late nineties, whom I will name Miss Peace, lived in the nursing home I worked in as a nurse\u2019s aide.\u00a0 <\/span>To me \u2013 she was the ugliest woman I had ever seen in my life.\u00a0 <\/span>She weighed about 70 pounds. \u00a0<\/span>Every limb of her body was contorted as was her face due to the incredible pain she suffered.\u00a0 <\/span>Miss Peace would say \u201cchild \u2013 open my dresser drawer and take out the looking glass\u201d (there were mirrors in the patient\u2019s bathrooms, but most residents were bed bound \u2026.I was fascinated to actually see a resident look into a mirror).\u00a0 <\/span>\u00a0<\/span>Miss Peace would spend several minutes gazing at herself as I held her mirror in place for her.<\/p>\n \u00a0When I started nursing school, our first task was to give each other a bed bath.\u00a0 <\/span>When the instructor showed me the hospital table with the mirror inside I assumed nursing was brilliant in her consideration of the smallest details of a person\u2019s life.\u00a0 <\/span>she meant it should be used.\u00a0 <\/span>I always offered my patients a mirror and I even kept a small mirror in my pocket for those patients too sick to sit up.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0In the 1990\u2019s I learned that in over 300 lists of equipment needed to do a bed bath or keep at a patient\u2019s bedside, the mirror was not listed.\u00a0 <\/span>There were no research studies useful to nursing on mirrors. \u00a0<\/span>Discussions with fellow nurses revealed surprising results.\u00a0 <\/span>On a burn unit, a young nurse gasped and said \u201cOh my God, we have a young man in that room over there who has burns from his neck to his toes\u2026he has been here 3 weeks and has never seen his face.\u00a0 <\/span>All he has seen is what is left of his legs, his arms, and his body. His face is perfect\u201d.\u00a0 <\/span>A deathing nurse whispered to me that the 16 year old girl who had a tumor the size of a football that extended out of her mouth, obscured her nostrils, and rested on her upper chest almost obstructing her tracheotomy would \u201cask everyday for her Mom to bring her the mirror\u201d. \u00a0<\/span>Sadly, another nurse said \u201cthat is perfectly disgusting. No one who is sick and suffering wants to look into a mirror\u201d.<\/p>\n \u00a0Paul Ricoeur\u2019s hermeneutics and philosophy of the will (phenomenology) provided a conceptual framework and methodology to guide me to a greater understanding of the meaning of the experience of looking in the mirror.\u00a0 <\/span>In phenomenology, one seeks to understand the entire horizon of a typical human experience.\u00a0 <\/span>The underlying structure of the experience is uncovered, regardless of who has the experience or the different circumstances surrounding the experience.\u00a0 <\/span>The concept of \u2018uncovering\u2019 or \u2018understanding\u2019 all human experience by all human beings is simply beyond comprehension.\u00a0 <\/span>With seemingly endless determination, phenomenologists seek to understand human experience one small experience at a time.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0Hermeneutics is a method or technique used where the individual stories or variations of an experience are bracketed or suspended.\u00a0 <\/span>The goal is to seek the underlying experience.\u00a0 <\/span>When that basic experience is uncovered, it is so fundamental that all who have had a variation of the experience have an \u2018ah hah\u2026of course that is it\u2019 moment. \u00a0<\/span>My challenge was to interview, listen, tape record and analyze the words of seven terminally ill women and uncover their fundamental experience of mirror-ing.<\/p>\n \u00a0Prerequisites<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n \u00a0There are two prerequisites to looking in a mirror.\u00a0 <\/span>There needs to a mirror accessible and one must be capable of looking into a mirror.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cI realized I didn\u2019t have a pocket mirror that I always carry in my purse. I nearly went crazy that I couldn\u2019t look when I was in the emergency room.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cThat is one thing in a place like this, there is a mirror over the sink and that\u2019s it\u201d. <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cIn the hospital they do have a mirror in the bedside tables.\u00a0 <\/span>Why didn\u2019t they get bedside tables like that for us?\u201d\u00a0 <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cWhen I was in the hospital I didn\u2019t have a mirror except that little one I had brought with me, in that little compact of mine where the make-up was.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cFrom home, I brought a hand mirror that is older than I am\u201d. <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0One must also be capable of looking into a mirror.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cFor people who are too weak to get to a mirror you would have to bring the mirror to them.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cThe nurse did not give me enough time.\u00a0 <\/span>She gave me a look and flashed me away again.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cThey did have a mirror hung over the washstand\u2026.we just had to walk down the hall to get to it.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0 <\/span>\u201c\u2026if there is a mirror there I bet you\u2019ll look into it, of course it being you can lift your head.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/i>Decision: I Decide<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n \u00a0There is a web of motivating reasons to decide to look or not to look in a mirror.\u00a0 <\/span>Motives do not \u2018cause\u2019 one to look into a mirror, rather one uses motives to justify one\u2019s decision.\u00a0 <\/span>The desire or \u2018wanting to look\u2019 in the mirror forms a spectrum or range from habitual glimpses to contemplative or willful decisions.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI don\u2019t think I could go by a mirror without looking in, looking at it\u201d. <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cWhen I washed my face and hands in the bathroom I couldn\u2019t help but see myself \u2026in the mirror\u201d.<\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0“(I had to look). \u00a0<\/span>I was hoping things would look better\u201d.<\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cI nearly went crazy that I couldn\u2019t look.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cI wouldn\u2019t mind if somewhere they had a (full length) mirror\u2026I don\u2019t really know what I look like from the knees down.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cI wonder: Does my hair need a cutting this Thursday? Is my lipstick anywhere near to the color it should be? Is my catheter bag showing from underneath my pants?\u201d\u00a0 <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/i>Resisting or \u2018not wanting\u2019 to view self in the mirror:<\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cYou just can\u2019t give up.\u00a0 <\/span>I know that.\u00a0 <\/span>You just make yourself look.\u00a0 <\/span>At times you have to give in and say to your good Lord, I gotta look.\u00a0 <\/span>Well it\u2019s hard to do but you have to.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cI don\u2019t think there are any religions in that are opposed to looking in the mirror, do you? I\u2019m thinking of your looks, you shouldn\u2019t dwell on your appearance too much\u201d. <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/i>Assessment: I See<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n \u00a0\u2018Seeing\u2019 as assessment is different from seeing with one\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 <\/span>Rather seeing as assessment is more like \u201cah, I see what you what you have been trying to tell me\u201d. \u00a0<\/span>One retains past mirrored glimpses of self and from those recollections anticipates what one will \u2018see\u2019.\u00a0 <\/span>Anticipation of what may be viewed may be so compelling that one wants to look into a mirror.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cI looked in the mirror to see what I really look like.\u00a0 <\/span>I thought that not eating and with the amount of time I\u2019d been in there that I\u2019d be looking terrible.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cShe (the nurse) looked so grim about it.\u00a0 <\/span>When she would go, I\u2019d take another look.\u00a0 <\/span>You\u2019d think, am I looking worse or am I so repulsive?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0On the other end of the range, one is confident and trusting that there will be no surprises lying in the mirror.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cIt was really nothing to fuss about.\u00a0 <\/span>I knew what I looked like\u2026.I was quite sick.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cIf I had been outside I knew just how wild my hair might be.\u00a0 <\/span>It is a glance and I am satisfied.<\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/i>The dialectical counterpart of anticipation is evaluation.\u00a0 <\/span>A value judgment about what is seen in the mirror is made.\u00a0 <\/span>With habitual glances into the mirror where there are no changes noted there may be a simple neutrality – \u201cYou just look\u201d.\u00a0 <\/span>When evaluation is accompanied by emotion there may be distanciation or objectification of the self. \u00a0<\/span>Speaking of self in the second person or using prepositions such as \u2018it\u2019, \u2018this\u2019, and \u2018that\u2019 are indicative of evaluating oneself as an object.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIt (mastectomy site) was a terrible mess.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIt (face) was horrible.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIt (face) just seemed to be better then at times it was really bad.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201c \u2026is that old hag really me?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWho\u2019s that fat person looking back at me?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/i>One may evaluate the image and appropriate the image in the mirror as one\u2019s self.\u00a0 <\/span>The preposition \u2018I\u2019 is indicative of appropriation.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI was burned badly.\u201d \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI was black all over.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI have a horrible looking face.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n Self \u2013 Knowledge: I Know<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n \u00a0One\u2019s knowledge about the image in the mirror has an explanation connected to it.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI knew that it was going to be bruised.\u00a0 <\/span>I bruised so easily then.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI had radiation.\u00a0 <\/span>I had 25 treatments.\u00a0 <\/span>You get burned so bad.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhen you are sick you do look pretty haggard\u2026.my cancer is terminal.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0The lens through which one views all experience, one\u2019s way of being-in-the-world \u2018colors\u2019 one\u2019s knowledge of self.<\/p>\n \u00a0Being-in-the world gratefully permeated some entire interviews.\u00a0 <\/span>Examples include:<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI still had a face.\u00a0 <\/span>I wasn\u2019t squashed flat or anything.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019ve got what I\u2019ve got and that\u2019s what you\u2019ve got to be happy with.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0Being-in-the-world \u2013 anxiously.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNo matter which way you look at it, it\u2019s never good.\u00a0 <\/span>There is nothing to be good about it.\u00a0 <\/span>Why should it be?\u00a0 <\/span>It has been a struggle.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cOh God, why have you done this to me?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/i>Being-for-self<\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cI want people to love me for what I am, for what I am after I am all made up.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0Being-for-others<\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cI was in a place where there was so many people, but because I could see myself it sort of helped me keep my identity.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/i>Being \u2013less-than-a-full-self<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThere was hair and that coming out of my eyelids\u2026.I was scared and I wish they told me I had it.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/i>Consent: I Consent <\/i><\/span><\/b><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/i>Though this experience of mirror-in we have found the foundational cornerstones of \u2018I decide\u2019; \u201cI see\u201d and \u201cI understand\u201d.\u00a0 <\/span>Consent is the \u2018so what\u2019 of the experience of mirror-in.\u00a0 <\/span>Consent mediated a dialectic: on one pole lie denial and despair, and at the other pole are continued living, hope and possibilities.<\/p>\n Denial and Despair<\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cI felt like running out and screaming.\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s what I felt like doing when I first came home and saw myself.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI look in the mirror the first thing I think is why did I ever go for this<\/i><\/p>\n ultrasound?\u00a0 <\/span>I didn\u2019t care how much this aneurism was growing. I didn\u2019t want to know.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n “I think, good Lord, now maybe I am dying.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/i>Continued living and possibilities<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cMaybe I\u2019ll get a wig.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI have hopes yet.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSometimes you think of your own funeral when you look in the mirror.\u00a0 <\/span>You wonder how they\u2019ll fix you up so nice and all.\u201d\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n The description of mirror-in for these seven terminally ill women provides nurses with a new horizon of possibility of caring for terminally ill female patients.\u00a0 <\/span>The way in which nurses \u2018care\u2019 based on this understanding demands further research of potential practical measures.\u00a0 <\/span>Survey studies of existing mirrors in health care facilities are needed.\u00a0 <\/span>There are hundreds of mirror studies possible but that is not the main point.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0More to the point, there is hope and possibility nurses will have a heightened sensitivity to the experience of mirror-ing. There exists possibility that the understanding of mirror-ing opens intuitive insights into other experiences. Understanding a person\u2019s experience does not necessarily require a \u2018fix it\u2019 approach or direct nursing intervention. Accepting an individual\u2019s way of experiencing conveys a message: I understand and accept what this experience means for you, and your way of being-in-the \u2013world.\u00a0 <\/span>We may actually being to frequently hear these words, \u201cthe nurse really understood me, and she understood what I was going through\u201d.<\/p>\n \u00a0The framework uncovered in the experience of mirror-ing of self decision, self assessment, self knowledge and consent may be foundational for other human experiences.\u00a0 <\/span>As nursing researchers work to painstakingly uncover everyday lived experiences, let us shares these messages with our nursing students and experienced nurses.\u00a0 <\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0Discussion and Edited Exerts from Thesis: Mirroring \u2013 The Lived Experience of Viewing Self for Terminally Ill Women by Wyona M. Freysteinson 1994<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The Experience of Viewing Self in the Mirror for Terminally Ill Women \u00a0\u201cLet us tell them \u2013 maybe then the staff would come to a greater understanding of how we are feeling, of what\u2019s important to us.\u00a0 You really have to understand to help people.\u201d \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 A Terminally Ill Woman \u00a0Experiences are everyday lived moments.\u00a0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":116,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"template-fullwidth.php","meta":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/therapeuticmirrorresearch.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/118"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/therapeuticmirrorresearch.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/therapeuticmirrorresearch.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therapeuticmirrorresearch.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therapeuticmirrorresearch.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=118"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/therapeuticmirrorresearch.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/118\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":346,"href":"https:\/\/therapeuticmirrorresearch.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/118\/revisions\/346"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therapeuticmirrorresearch.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/116"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/therapeuticmirrorresearch.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=118"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n